How-we-doing Humpday

It's that time again.  Time to be glad about one less step toward a healthier me.

Condiments. 

I was raised on salt, pepper, syrup, and jam.  Dips and toppings were the spice of life as a child.  In high school I'd eat packets of sugar at a time...by themselves.  In the school lunch line, I got ranch dressing...for my cheese pizza and fries. 

Once I moved out and started exploring supermarkets, I discovered options that had not existed in my childhood home.  Mango, papaya, guava...these were not the "apple" and "pear" I grew up with.  Once I had my first set of twins, I realized they were eating these things I've never tried in BABY FOOD! 

I have a strict rule of "If I don't try it, my kids don't try it!"  I tried my breast milk and baby formula, so why not tropical fruits?  Right!  It makes sense to try something on its own the first time...so you know what it tastes like...what to add.  I realized these new things were yummy without additions.  No added flavors.  No added sugars.  Just ripened fruits.  Perfect.

After I tried a few new foods with nothing else, I started trying familiar foods all alone.  What a difference!  Fresh fruits and vegetables taste unique and delicious as they are.  There is no need to add salt to your watermelon (I know it's good, right) or caramel to your apples or sugar to your strawberries.  Salad dressing masks all the natural flavor of the produce.  These foods are perfect little packets of nutrients without messy, less-nutritive add-ons. 

Spare the calories.  Spare the sugar.  Spare the money. 

How-we-doing Humpday

After writing out last Wednesday's Pat on the Back post, I started brainstorming other things I should be grateful for.  Progress is progress.  Success is success.  I'd like to keep this up.  This week I'm happy about two food groups that I enjoy eating.

Whole Grains.  I LOVE whole grains!  I prefer brown rice to white rice.  I wish I could afford more wild rice...really adore that stuff!  I enjoy whole wheat noodles and bread.  Ezekiel bread with the sprouted grains - I love that too!  It makes no sense to refine a grain.  None.

Veggies.  I am not a picky eater.  I enjoy those odd veggies people have horror stories about.  I enjoy Brussels sprouts, Lima beans, and okra in any form.  In fact, since my last pregnancy I eat all the "A's" that I once could not fathom eating with joy.  That's right.  Artichoke, avocado, and asparagus are now welcome on my menu.  I've been known to turn up my nose at cooked greens (mustard, collard and turnip), but I can eat ANY greens raw and still savor them.

Vision Board...sort of?

I've always felt so lame making a vision board.  I act like I'm ashamed of my interests, passions and good memories.  Like I want to hide what makes me happy.  What a pointless habit. A disgusting waste of energy too. 

I'm working on creating a vision board on my computer desktop.  It shows random pictures of past events and memories that make me happy and/or motivate me.  I'm about half done with it.  I add a picture here and there when I have a spare minute. 

I'm also considering a photo album.  Real, hard copies of photos are SO much better than cropped, shrunk images, collaged onto an icon-crowded desktop.  The feel of a photo has a "macaroni and cheese" effect on me.  Comfort food. 

I seek the comfort of prints when all else fails.  And it works.  I'll see one of those photos, all by itself and not part of a busy collage.  That photo will make me smile.  That memory becomes more tangible when I hold a picture in my hand.  The moment captured becomes more real, more intimate. 

I often forget the amazing adventures I have been on.  Usually I'm too caught up worrying about the things I haven't done.  Waste of time and effort.  More positive moments are available in photo form to remind me of the thrill of whitewater rafting.  Camping trips.  That crazy, high train trestle I walked across.  Disneyworld.  The beach.  Sweet family moments.  Friends.  Family.  Connections. 

Pat on the Back

Do not let the last post fool you.  I do have bad habits.  But, I have made some positive changes.  Those positive changes are progress that I need to acknowledge, no matter how small they seem to be. 

Sugar.  I have eliminated white sugar from my coffee; rather, I switched to Agave Nectar.  It is true, you use less nectar than white sugar.  The taste is not as strong as honey - at least not the Agave in the Raw.  I'm sure the darker nectar is more intense.

Chocolate.  We all need a little chocolate.  It stimulates parts of my brain that otherwise seek out far worse substances.  It is a lesser evil.  I like dark chocolate, but lately I've only had milk chocolate around to nibble on.  I've gotten very good at portion control by eating only one or two rectangles off of a Hershey's bar or by eating only one little chocolate out of an Advent calendar.  Hershey's are approximately 17.5 calories per rectangle on a standard size bar; the Advent chocolates are about 15 calories each.

Fessing up

I'll admit I eat like an American.  I've had too much fast food, red meat, soda, and processed food-like product.  I am quite disturbed by the American "white is better" theory.  White flour, white sugar, white rice.  Food racism.  What a curse!

Let's not forget that our public schools implemented these bleached out products just as often as our poor families; at a private school I attended we were given Subway, McDonald's, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut every week.  They bought the hype.  Convenience won over health. 

I was a fairly healthy person through my first pregnancies.  In between pregnancies I would progressively get back into my soda addiction.  My worst soda habit is Red Bull.  They are my equivalent to cigarettes (thank goodness I don't smoke).  I usually plateau at a gallon of red bull a day.  Not water.  No water.  Sugar, caffeine and majorly too much B-complex. 

My last pregnancy I was diagnosed with a heart murmur and mitral valve prolapse.  I got to wear a heart monitor all day and night (except in the shower) for a month of that pregnancy.  I have no way to prove it was the red bull.  I have no reason to believe it was anything else.  That pregnancy ended almost three weeks early when I showed up at the hospital vomiting uncontrollably.  I was in labor and my liver was failing.  I had an emergency C-section.  We all came out alive.  If I hadn't gone the hospital that morning, I wouldn't be typing the same (or any) story. 

After I finished breastfeeding, I hopped back on the red bull train.  My youngest will be 17 months soon.  Most days I drink 48-64 ounces of that vial concoction.  I'm not sure why I drink something that makes me hot and angry.  I'm not sure why I drink something that depletes my appetite and causes major diarrhea.  I honestly think it is a subconscious desire to have something.  Something I thought I could control.  

I'll never have a perfect heart again.  I've done irreversible damage.  My liver is always going to be slightly wonky due to a genetic condition I carry; also my lungs are less durable from that condition.  I still expect to live a long enough life to meet my grandchildren.  I want to be at my great-grandkids births.  I want to have enough time on this planet to spread positive energy to others.  I must change my lifestyle. 

Perspective

In my personal life, 2013 has been the year of fresh perspective.  I have ridden a roller coaster of love and hate this year.  I've come very close to giving up on my family.  I've come very close to giving up existence.  However, I also opened my mind up to new experiences and goals.  I opened my heart to allow a deeper love to penetrate. 
Some days I feel especially aware of the suffering and the hidden pain in my community.  Some days I feel I'm wearing "truth-glasses" and can see people for what they really are.  Some days I challenge the concept of "time."  Yet some days I challenge the entire concept of "existence." 
I feel very in touch with nature, though.  Nature feels "real."  I understand animals, plants, weather on a MUCH higher level than all the man-made distractions.  I feel I am a part of nature.  I am NOT a part of technology.  Perhaps I'm taking my "first world problems" for granted. 
Reflecting on this year has made me realize one thing.  I have the power to change things, but I must start with "me."  I can change my physicality, my spirituality, my mind.  I must improve my mental and physical health.  I must also keep in mind what my greater goals are. 
My biggest goals involve meaningful connections.  That's what keeps people going...connections.  Energy is shared through connections.  Emanating positive energy...now THAT is a goal.

Dedication

I dedicate this blog to curiosity and deep thought.  Hopefully I will stay dedicated for more than a few posts.  I tend to drift from blogs...I am inconsistent by nature.  For now, though, I have a place for my thoughts to call home.  I hope you enjoy the distraction from your own tangibility.